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1. |
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Once upon a time (but fairly recently),
there lived a man and woman who wanted a family,
one day they found a little raccoon abandoned by his mommy,
The Jeffersons, they loved him, kept him warm and safe and clean,
he was the cutest little woodland creature you had ever seen,
They adopted him and named him Tommy.
Eventually all good things must come to an end,
one dark and stormy night, a knock came at the door,
"Sorry, ma'am," the ranger said, "I'm here to apprehend,
you're keeping a wild animal ille gally, and we can't allow it anymore,"
"Please don't take him!" MrsJefferson cried, "This can't be real!
Where is he going to live? How will he find his next meal?"
The enclosure at the wildlife center wasn't too secure,
and time was of the esscence, his stomach couldn't wait,
There might be a better world out there, but how could he be sure?
Clever Tommy had to escape, and when he was out, he ate:
Snails and worms and lady bugs, apples nice and round,
a half eaten slice of pizza someone left on the ground,
Remnants of a casserole from a trash can up the road,
Tommy, if you're not careful, you'll explode,
It turns out when you're living on the streets, you gotta make your own way,
sneak in through the pet doors, help yourself to tuna pâté,
Tommy quickly realized lots of food is wasted and thrown away,
A neighborhood of picky eaters becomes a wild raccoon buffet
Oranges and avocadoes, grilled cheese with fries,
marshmallows with chocolate silk and coconut cream pies,
Taco shells and egg salad and a bit of liverwurst,
Tommy, if you're not careful, you might burst
The neighbors began calling him "Obese Raccoon
He grew too large for pet doors, people chased him with brooms,
He didn't really notice, and just kept on moving on,
going house to house 'til all the leftovers were gone,
When all the cans on elm street were empty, it was time
to move along, street by street to a better place
Up the social garbage bin ladder he climbed,
and fancy homes have the fanciest trash, so Obese Raccoon stuffed his face
Lobster and fois gras and ratatouille stew,
truffle risotto, lemon gelato, and a pot of cheese fondue,
Pinot noir and caviar, escargot nonstop,
And one sad day, our Obese Raccoon, he wasn't careful, and he went *pop*!
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2. |
How to be Sad
04:06
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You always have the best intentions
You make a place for everything
Force it in, let there be room for the
Puzzle piece that doesn’t fit
Thinking double, writing in triple
Trying to process the impossible task
And you talk to yourself like a second person,
like a friend you never quite liked enough
And you want the world to simply stop turning
Vertigo break, a chance for clean air
The faster it changes, the harder it gets
To remember who you are
Stuck in the patterns, the car automatic,
Get where you’re going without knowing how
Open your daydream, float out the window
Remember the spark a lifetime ago
Capture the essence but can’t find the stopper
Maybe it’s broken, maybe it’s you
When each diagnosis dictates your journey
Internalize all and never forget
And you want to stop growing in gray, for the
Wrinkles to soften and roll back the time
Permission to rest is unacceptable
While the hourglass turns
All of these words are never sufficient, all the
Fragments collected are simply too small
They crumble through fingers, scatter like dust
The flames glow and grow stronger
They consume, the way they always do
When all that’s left is the shell of you
Death in a bottle, a tempting solution
A get out of jail card that’s not really free
And you can never let down your guard, or it hurts too much
Just like the rest of you as long as you’re stuck
While you are choosing the path that you’re taking
It never feels right
How to be sad: a guide for the amateur
Count every piece your heart breaks into
Hate it and shun it and call it by name
A portrait of a disappointment, and the
Scar is a talisman, it means it was real
Wallow and wander and wash it away
You can forgive if you never forget
Everyone leaves if you don’t get there first
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3. |
Mediocrity
03:45
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I want to say I’m sorry, and I want to say I miss you
But I won’t, ‘cuz I’m not
I want to tell you everything that’s happened in the past ten years
But I won’t, ‘cuz you don’t care
When you left I thought it was over, forever and ever lonely
But now I find all wounds heal with time
Just like you said
I wish you fortune, but only enough to keep you off the streets
I wish you love, but only until you get divorced at forty-three
I wish you joy, but only if it’s fleeting
And I guess I wish you peace
I sure as hell don’t wish you well,
I wish you mediocrity
Nostalgia can be dangerous, the deepest painful memories
I still can’t look at the photographs
But perspective is a funny thing, to navigate the obstacles
One must try to move beyond
And now I’ve taught myself not to wonder— go ruin your life without me
Curiosity is gone for me
I’ll never look you up
I wish you fortune, but only enough to keep you off the streets
I wish you love, but only until you get divorced at forty-three
I wish you joy, but only if it’s fleeting
And I guess I wish you peace
I sure as hell don’t wish you well,
I wish you mediocrity
I watched your metamorphosis
I used to know your heart and head
The nice guy that you used to be
Is now completely dead
I’ve accidentally thought of you on more than one occasion
But now I’ve learned to shrug it off
I wish you fortune, but only enough to keep you off the streets
I wish you love, but only until you get divorced at forty-three
I wish you joy, but only if it’s fleeting
And I guess I wish you peace
I sure as hell don’t wish you well,
I wish you mediocrity
I sure as hell don’t wish you well,
I wish you mediocrity
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4. |
Hard to Love
04:54
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I alternate between broken glass and eggshell
Carefully shifting my weight so I don’t break the spell
You’re a tornado, I used to be part of the din
I would do anything to avoid getting sucked in
I practice cutting the wires to diffuse the bomb
I can never exactly predict how it will go off
Once I had loved you, and possibly once you were mine
I’m tired of drama consuming so much of my time
I’ll never be tall enough to reach my own pedestal
I’ll never be true enough to be your best friend
I’ll never be able to tick every one of your boxes
You’re so hard to love, and I’m at my wit’s end
I simply can’t be the soulmate you think you are lacking
All your traditions are just too damn demanding
You’ll jump down my throat, accuse me of being too distant
And never forgive me if I forget any specifics
I know you just want to simmer in yesterday
While life goes on, people change, memories fade
You want to live in the good old days when we were young
you’ll be the only remainder when we’ve all moved on
Let me be my own whole person
Let me break your gravity
Let me live outside your orbit
Let me just be free
Yes, there were times we clung to each other while drowning
There were moments when we were divinely inspired
There were so many more filled with paranoia and worry
You’re so hard to love, and I’m so tired.
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Marjorie Halloran Austin, Texas
Marjorie Halloran is a San Francisco Bay Area-based composer, singer, and songwriter.
She is the co-founder of the chorus at the Vermont College of Fine Arts in Montpelier, VT, where she received her MFA in composition with an emphasis in songwriting.
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