Change The Ending (Pandemic Sessions #1)

by Marjorie Halloran

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1.
I’ve told you my favorite color— it’s yellow, same as yours
I’ve told you every Bach motet I’ve ever sung I’ve told you how I’ve always loved to stay up all night Playing New Horizons and writing songs til the morning comes And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl And what I haven’t told you Is how I think of you, think of you, think of you constantly Or how my heart skips a beat when you light up my phone What I haven’t told you is how you make me feel like I’m never alone I’m never alone I’ve told you all about my childhood The way I quit piano lessons too soon You’ve seen my shameful haircuts and The letters I wrote to magazines and Heard the baritones that made me swoon And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl And what I haven’t told you Is how I think of you, think of you, think of you constantly Or how my heart skips a beat when you light up my phone What I haven’t told you is how you make me feel like I’m never alone I’m never alone I’ve told you all about my husband And the live I have a thousand miles away And how I wouldn’t give any of it up But still I think of you all the time anyway You’ve told me everything about your father And your future plans for kids, a dog, and a wife So I will watch from the sidelines And hope that maybe we’ll cross paths in another life And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl And what I haven’t told you Is how I think of you, think of you, think of you constantly Or how my heart skips a beat when you light up my phone What I haven’t told you is how you make me feel like I’m never alone I’m never alone
2.
It starts with a cough and a fever You lose your sense of smell and then you die We don’t have enough hospital beds So everybody has to stay inside At first it sounds like a party Playing video games every day Time to read or bake sourdough bread But over time our nerves start to fray Take a look on social media Every post looks the same Spouse against partner, friend versus friend As everybody slowly goes insane But you and me, we’re different It probably helps we’re introverts too If I have to go crazy in quarantine I’m glad I’m going crazy with you You buy me giant bags of candy You help me clean up after the cat You go to the store for pizzas and ice cream So what if we’re getting totally fat I do my share of the housework And sometimes your share as well And every night we kill a bottle or five While the world outside is going to hell Global pandemic State of emergency All that really means is You get to spend more time with me All our friends are sick of their roommates Or else they’re all alone with nothing to do But since I have to go crazy in quarantine, I’m glad I’m going crazy with you We have such adorable matching face masks But they don’t cover up your beautiful eyes Your gym shorts complement my yoga pants so nicely I'll take your hand in mine— after you sanitize Stay home and stay safe Stay six feet apart Keep your social distancing But keep me in your heart We’ve been stuck here several months and counting It'll be years until a vaccine comes through So while we’re losing our minds in endless quarantine I’m glad I’m going absolutely batshit bonkers crazy with you (I'm going out and having an affair as soon as it won't kill me!)
3.
Feelings and wishes and dreams An end to the means Meanings in endings Thoughts and hopes and plans I don’t understand I’m just pretending And you were there all along I sang your song Before knowing how it goes Before it made sense In your defense Things only I know You’ll show me stars in the desert We’ll see the Milky Way You’ll make a cocktail and name it after me someday Then there came a moment Not knowing what it meant The whole world stopped to breathe Here and then, now and there Handle with care Try to believe How can we still connect What to expect While we are waiting Clear as day in my mind Craving the sunshine Stop hesitating You’ll show me stars in the desert The planet stands still Someday I’ll show you the empire I built The tables have turned Put in a leaf and expand Not like I planned That’s how it goes That’s how it goes And yet I have learned While you are choosing Although I am losing Nobody knows Nobody knows what will come Not even you Not even me Not even you Not even me Now, it isn’t my turn When will I learn It never could be But can this somehow go on? I’ll still sing your song Imagining harmony You’ll show me stars in the desert I’ll show you the sea I’ll show you stars in the hills And there you’ll be There you’ll be There you’ll be
4.
Pandora 05:06
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault You wonder what would happen You wonder what they’d say You wonder if it would be the way you always dreamed You wonder if your secret Would be so well-received Could things be any different than they seem? You tell yourself it’s better To tell a simple truth You tell yourself that everyone loves honesty But when the truth is not that simple And sometimes lies protect What do you do? What do you do? Keep the lid on tightly Don’t let it sneak out You can’t put all those worms back in the jar Because It’s not a story Where you can change the ending Just by flipping all the pages to the start No matter what they tell you The world doesn’t work this way You can’t have chocolate and vanilla both You might spend your whole life wondering How the other one might taste You should have thought of that before you took the oath You tell yourself it’s easier Just to hold it in You tell yourself that nobody likes to rock the boat But when you’re yearning to explore For fear of missing out What do you do? What do you do? Keep the lid on tightly Don’t let it sneak out You can’t put all those worms back in the jar Because It’s not a story Where you can change the ending Just by flipping all the pages to the start If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault You don’t know what you want You know what you don’t want You just want the chance to try And if you fall, at least you had a chance to fly Keep the lid on tightly Don’t let it sneak out You can’t put all those worms back in the jar Because It’s not a story Where you can change the ending Just by flipping all the pages to the start If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault...

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Marjorie Halloran explores the playful side of being stuck in quarantine with a partner in this new EP from Halloran's Pandemic Sessions.

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released October 2, 2020

All songs ©2020 Marjorie Halloran Music (ASCAP)
Marjorie Halloran: Vocals, piano, keyboards, viola
Michael Garrett Steele: Vocals
David J. Blonstein: Keyboards
Ethan Foote: Bass
Sarah LeMieux: Guitar
Devin Barone (DVB): Drums

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Marjorie Halloran Austin, Texas

Marjorie Halloran is a San Francisco Bay Area-based composer, singer, and songwriter.

She is the co-founder of the chorus at the Vermont College of Fine Arts in Montpelier, VT, where she received her MFA in composition with an emphasis in songwriting.
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