Less Than Three

by Marjorie Halloran

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1.
"Count your blessings", they say, "And be thankful for all that you've got" That's easy for you to say, You're every little perfect thing I'm not You got a lover, you already told me, That's all well and good for you now I can't get caught up in your shallow anxieties, I have more important things to worry about Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore Ooh, I don't know who I want to be Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice Call me beautiful, but that ain't so I wanted to be someone, but that's just not the way it seems Call me a genius, but you'll know more than I will ever know I guess the only things I'll end up having are my broken dreams It's not my fault, can you just see it in my eyes? It's just that things keep happening to me Shattered promises, and every now and then a bad surprise And then I'm told I have no sense of responsibility Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore Ooh, I don't know who I want to be Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice I don't want to be here anymore My parents called me hopeless, and they were sincere Soon I'll be able to open up life's door And get myself the hell away from here "Count your blessings", they said "And be thankful for all that was given to you" Well, you can keep believing that in your deluded head And as you do, why not run a mile in my shoes? Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore Ooh, I don't know who I want to be Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore Ooh, I don't know who I want to be Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice
2.
This is Me 05:32
Surrounded by the innocents, I feel more than ready To go out and face the destiny that lies before me And yet again I'm stranded here, I cannot sail away It's impossible to believe that I'll get out of here someday I'm a good girl, and I've done my best I've tried hard for so long But it's getting late, I just can't wait And I'm tired of being strong I am weakend every time I see a falsely loving face So when's my time? Will I find mine? Will I ever find my place? So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here But I wait for the day when I can dream And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes To make myself become who I want to be Because the more I stay here, the more my heart aches I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me Can't you tell I'm suffering every single day? I go to school and do my job and always obey But I'm not the girl you think I am, I'm more than just a clone Misunderstood and different and feeling all alone You don't know who's inside of me, what really makes me live Neither do I, who am I? What do I have to give? I know that I am past this stage, but where do I go now? Will somebody please tell me who to be and how? So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here But I wait for the day when I can dream And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes To make myself become who I want to be Because the more I stay here, the more my heart aches I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me I'm not a child anymore Won't you please stop throwing me to the floor? I'm ready to move on, soon I will be gone But there's still that uncertainty Who do I really want to be? I think I know... So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here But I wait for the day when I can dream And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes To make myself become who I want to be Because the more I stay here, the more my heart breaks I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me
3.
Some couples go on dates To the movies or a show And some will just get in the car And go wherever they wanna go But I'm not like those "other" girls Who spend every waking minute glued to the hip of their lover I'm not like those boring chicks With their three dimensional significant others See, I've got an Online Boyfriend Sharing heart and soul over the internet The info I've Googled and just can't forget Online Boyfriend Your screen name at the top of my buddy list We've Instant Messaged but never kissed Online Boyfriend All our dates begin with http And instead of "I Love You" It's "Less Than Three" You tell a joke and I Laugh Out Loud But if I'm having a bad day I don't need to tell you what's bothering me, You can read it on my LJ And if I'm ever feeling low Down on my luck, or out of place I know that I can count on you To e-hug me through cyberspace 'Cause you're my Online Boyfriend Sharing heart and soul over the internet The info I've Googled and just can't forget Online Boyfriend Your screen name at the top of my buddy list We've Instant Messaged but never kissed Online Boyfriend All our dates begin with http And instead of "I Love You" It's "Less Than Three" They say you can't spray perfume on an email Well, emoticons are feelings too What does it matter how good I look in this outfit If you think my punctuation is cute? Online Boyfriend Sharing heart and soul over the internet The info I've Googled and just can't forget Online Boyfriend Your screen name at the top of my buddy list We've Instant Messaged but never kissed Online Boyfriend Online Boyfriend Online Boyfriend All our dates begin with http And instead of "I Love You" It's "Less Than Three"
4.
You betrayed me You called me up and told me that you hate me (you hate me) You deceived me Things were great and then you chose to leave me (leave me) You cancelled plans, you made me wait And when I called you on it, you called me Flake But what I still can’t see is why you’d do this to me Because you left me like I was yesterday And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth After six years, you threw it all away for nothing And you ditched me But do you miss me? I don’t get it We got along so well when we first met (first met) It doesn’t make sense You called me your soulmate and forever friend (forever friend) But then you changed and let me go You got a boyfriend and didn’t let me know How can you hurt me after all our history? Because you left me like I was yesterday And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth After six years, you threw it all away for nothing And you ditched me But do you miss me? I should have known better, I should have seen it coming I should have known better, should have, would have, could have I should have known better, I should have seen it coming I should have known better than to trust you, my “best friend” Should I forgive you? What you did to me was inexcusable (there’s no excuse) Or should I hate you? Who’d have thought best friends could be so cruel? (How could you?) I can’t believe it’s over now after all these years we’d survived somehow After all is said and done, will I be the broken one? Because you left me like I was yesterday And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth After six years, you threw it all away for nothing And you ditched me But do you miss me? Do you miss me? I miss you.
5.
Unseen 04:30
Do you see me standing here? While everyone else just passes right on by? You don’t even see the tear That’s falling from my watchful eye. Am I invisible? I think so. Why else do you surpass me as I wait? You don’t even seem to know That I’m not necessarily someone to hate. Do I scare you? Am I a freak? Do you think we are so not the same That you can’t even go a week Without calling me a hateful name? There have been times when I’ve considered running away And sometimes I cry myself to sleep And I didn’t think I could live to see another day For fear of you tossing my hopes in one big dejected heap. Why are you so cruel? Do you think you’re being cool? Why are you so mean? Am I really that unseen? If I had a crystal ball And I could tell what would soon come to be Maybe then I wouldn’t fall Into your conspiracy. Just last week I thought you were done Laughing about me, about my hair and my clothes, But then you came up with reason number 101 Why I'm to be avoided, ‘cause everyone knows That I’m a nobody, a dish on the side How awful it is, just to see me. Do you know how much I wish I could hide? Do you know what it’s like to be me? Don’t worry about me, though, I’m tough. At least, that’s the stoic mask I wear. Even when the going gets rough, I take it all in, but outside I only stare. Eventually I’m sure I’ll find a real friend; One who’ll treat me as if I were a queen. But for now, I’m stuck here till the end Because I’m unseen.
6.
When I close my eyes. You are right beside me And I know you won’t ever leave And I’m glowing And I’m shining There’s so much that I don’t understand But you enable me to see more clearly And I’m no longer under the raindrops. But my eyes are open And the rain is falling And I’m getting wet, and people are calling Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!” And they shout “why won’t you heal us?” And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife? I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.” When I close my eyes Everything is suddenly More perfect than I can believe It’s not snowing I’m not pining And as you take hold of my hand You guide me and I’m safe, and finally free And I’m no longer under the raindrops. But my eyes are open And the rain is falling And I’m getting wet, and people are calling Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!” And they shout “why won’t you heal us?” And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife? I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.” If it were only possible to leave this broken place If only I could fly away Why is there always so much pain in this world? I close my eyes and I’m free But my eyes are open And the rain is falling And I’m getting wet, and people are calling Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!” And they shout “why won’t you heal us?” And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife? I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.”
7.
Standing 06:42
I've prepared for this for most of my life Twelve years of working unceasingly Friends old and new have come and gone I've been waiting for my time, waiting to be free Now I'm on the edge, it's almost here Time to show the world just who I am In a short while, I'll be on my own Trying to figure out my life's plan And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way? The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day Too afraid to take that final step So I'm standing I'm eighteen, life couldn't be better Immaturity and innocence left behind People I have met will not forget me But I'm frightened, scared to death of what I might find It's a cold, cruel world out there No one to help me or find me when I'm lost A whole new world is waiting for me I have to take responsibility, no matter the cost And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way? The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day Too afraid to take that final step So I'm standing My life is changing much too quickly, I just want to slow down time Adulthood might not be that tricky, I've just got to make it mine Face each day with renewed spirit, carpe diem, seize the day I plug my ears so I can't hear it, but growing up has to be this way I want to go back to who I was before And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way? The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day Too afraid to take that final step So I'm standing So I'm standing So I'm standing
8.
I don't know what to do at all Seems when I try, I always fall If just this once, I could know Where I should turn, which way to go I cannot hide it anymore Why am I still who I was before? Maybe someday, when I have grown I'll know the things I wish I'd known I'll know the things I wish I'd known You only get one life to live But what if you don't know what to give? If you're confused, with no way out Is that what life is all about? You think you've tried, you think you're done You've loved and lost, you've failed and won But in the end, it all amounts Are the mistakes what really count? Are the mistakes what really count? Why do I keep making the same mistakes? Why don't I have what it takes To just keep on? To remain strong? To change whom I have been for so long? It makes no sense, it doesn't fit I can't seem to escape this pit If nothing lost is something gained, Why are these ideals not yet obtained? Why are these ideals not yet obtained? One step forward, three steps back Something's missing that I still lack One step forward, three steps back Need to get myself on the right track A tear rolls down my upturned face I look for help to find my place But help is none, and answer naught And I'm left broken in this sacred spot For life's a gift, some do impart So why I can't I take this to heart? I pray that I may clean this mess And someday I'll find happiness Someday I'll find happiness
9.
Running Away 03:41
Some people wonder why I'd think of suicide You might say that I'm crazy But if you could walk a mile, spend one day in my life, You'd see it wasn't that easy And I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself Time to see, time to be somebody else My friends are mad at me, ain't going happily Why do you yell at me always? It's time for me to go somewhere no one knows Where I can spend all of my days And I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself Time to see, time to be somebody else And I'm so sorry it has to end like this And I'm so sorry it has to be this way I want you to know that I'll love you no matter what I want you to know it's not your fault 'Cause I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself Time to see, time to be... Running, running away from my troubles, running away from my tears Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself Its time to see, time to be somebody else
10.
I was drunk at your party once Felt a little sick, but still had fun Until I went up to you and said Exactly how I felt 'bout you After that, things just weren't the same No inside jokes, no cute nicknames You went out with another girl And led your life without me And you turned the other way So you wouldn't hear me say… That I wonder what might have been What could have been, what should have been If you'd done what you should have done We would have been together It's a shame that you couldn't see That I could be your meant-to-be And that it was my destiny To be alone forever And you tore my world apart The day you broke my heart And you told me I'd find someone else to love. So we went on a big choir trip Got too much sun and not enough sleep And a friend of mine came up to you And said I had a crush on you And regardless of its validity She told the truth, but backstabbed me And you didn't feel the same way Said, "good luck finding somebody" Still you said it's not the end "We can just be friends" That I wonder what might have been What could have been, what should have been If you'd done what you should have done We would have been together It's a shame that you couldn't see That I could be your meant-to-be And that it was my destiny To be alone forever And you tore my world apart The day you broke my heart And you told me I'd find someone else to love. Unlucky in love, a failure at romance Can't sing the song and don't know the dance This one's taken, that one moved away That one, on the other hand, he swings the other way He's too young and he's the wrong religion So tell me, when do I get a decision? Everybody else is K-I-S-S-I-N-G And I'm still stuck alone in the tree I check my email every day An instant message pops up to say That you saw my picture on that blog And you think that I'm pretty Went to the movies, have all the same friends Don't want this day to ever end And two months later, you ask the question, "Will you be my girlfriend?" And you made my whole world new The day you said "I love you" Now I don't care what might have been What could have been, what should have been If they'd done what they should have done, We would not be together I'm ecstatic that you could see That I should be your meant-to-be And now it's not my destiny To be alone forever And I hope we never part From the day you stole my heart And I'm glad that I found someone else to love I'm glad that you're the someone else I love
11.
Every time I look around, you're the one to be found, can't keep myself on the ground (You haunt me) I suppose you think it's neat when I see you on the street and I fall head over feet (You taunt me) Doesn't matter where I am, I look around and damn, why can't you leave me alone? (Get out of my head) If we're not meant to be, why all this pent-up anxiety? (Get out of my head) Your face comes up in my dreams, things are too perfect it seems, and then I wake up and scream (I want you) I know you don't even care that for you I'd be there, why is life so unfair? (I crave you) Why are these illusions? Why all the confusion? Why can't you leave me alone? (Get out of my head) As much as I want you to stay, I'm asking you to please go away (Get out of my head) You smile and look at me, do you see what I see, our perfect chemistry? (Together) Want to be in your arms and be safe from all harm, I can't resist your charm (Forever) Why do you keep appearing? Why your voice I keep hearing? Why can't you leave me alone? (Get out of my head) Why do you tempt me so? You told me long ago (Get out of my head) The more you say no, the more I want you The more you say go, the more I need you I could be perfectly happy if I never had to think of you again Why do you seem so perfect? You can't possibly be worth it, why can't you leave me alone? (Get out of my head) Don't need you to survive, I want to live my own life, (Get out of my head) I love you so damn much, I hate you so damn much, why can't you leave me alone? (Get out of my head)
12.
We were young, perhaps naîve We were scared, we were lonely, with no one who believed We were lost and needed to be found And when we met each other, everything turned around And it was good, it was right It was so perfect and beautiful and it made our darkness bright We had each other to help us find our way And even though there was no romance, we loved each other anyway One year later, so many things we'd shared Two years later, so many times we'd cared Three years later, we were growing up Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop Five years later, things were better than ever They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong Six years later you were gone How can it be that we're through? Was it something that I said or did, or was it mostly you? How could you be so full of hate When just a week before, you called me soulmate? I'll admit, it was a surprise Did you do it on the phone so you couldn't look into my eyes? So you couldn't see my pain? Because you couldn't look at me and say, "I never want to see you again"? One year later, so many things we'd shared Two years later, so many times we'd cared Three years later, we were growing up Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop Five years later, things were better than ever They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong Six years later you were gone You could have had the decency to give me a clue Instead of merely saying "it isn't me, it's you" I guess it was stupid of me to believe That a best friend should mean anything I hope you're happy where you are I hope you love your new house, new boyfriend, and new car I hope your life is as perfect as can be And I hope you're hurting twice as much as you hurt me One year later, so many things we'd shared Two years later, so many times we'd cared Three years later, we were growing up Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop Five years later, things were better than ever They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong Six years later you were gone
13.
Song of Hope 03:07
Let there be peace on Earth, and good will come to man If we all try harder for the rest of our lives, we can all do what we can Then none will be afraid, no one will have to live in fear There'll be no more fighting and no more pain When we find our hope again So we sing silent night on this holy night Our joy we want to show so the world will know That we sing for love and for peace on Earth For this is our song of hope Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me There'll be no more hunger and no more hurt Oh Lord I pray to Thee So we sing silent night on this holy night Our joy we want to show so the world will know That we sing for love and for peace on Earth For this is our song of hope So we sing silent night on this holy night Our joy we need to show so the world will know That we sing for love and for peace on Earth For this is our song of hope
14.
Daydreamer 03:57

about

Before she was "Ready For Anything", Marjorie was a nerdy college kid with access to a mic and GarageBand. "Less Than Three" is a collection of early demos dealing with the struggles of high school and college life, heartbreak, first love, and growing up.

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released October 21, 2008

Music and lyrics: Marjorie Halloran
Piano, keyboards, mixing, editing: Marjorie Halloran
©2001-2008

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Marjorie Halloran Austin, Texas

Marjorie Halloran is a San Francisco Bay Area-based composer, singer, and songwriter.

She is the co-founder of the chorus at the Vermont College of Fine Arts in Montpelier, VT, where she received her MFA in composition with an emphasis in songwriting.
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